Hello dear one, For a few weeks now I've been writing to you about imprints, the patterns we carry from our very beginnings, the story that shows up in the smallest moments of an ordinary day and also in our milestone moments. (How we do one thing is how we do everything!) I've made something that gathers it all into one place, and it's ready for you. It's a short video (under 6 minutes). In it, I tell you about the first time I really saw an imprint, a three-day-old baby who changed the way...
6 days ago • 1 min read
Hello dear one, As we’ve been looking at the idea of imprints, or the patterns in the nervous system that repeat throughout our lives, maybe you’ve been sitting with a question that many of us have had: Is it too late to heal? Maybe you’re a parent, thinking about your child’s experience of coming into the world. Maybe it was rough, but it’s over now and everyone said not to worry about it. Maybe you’re wondering about the things that you do over and over again that might somehow be connected...
9 days ago • 2 min read
Hello dear one, We've learned to see the world in a certain way. We interpret what we think is happening, and we make up stories about ourselves and our loved ones. The slammed door means something. The child who won't fall asleep, or settle into our arms, means something else. And the way we judge ourselves after we snap at the person we love most, freeze when it's time to begin or rush through the ending, that means something too. We only see the behavior, and we just want to make it stop....
16 days ago • 2 min read
Hello dear one, Most of us have quiet ways of holding our days together. The order we do things in. The route we always take. The little rituals we don't even register as rituals until something interrupts them. And then the day shifts. A holiday. A trip. A guest in the house. The kids home from school. Suddenly the smooth thing isn't smooth, and we find ourselves snagging on a moment that any other week we'd move right through. I want to offer you something to consider about those moments to...
23 days ago • 2 min read
Hello dear one, Can I tell you about a morning that taught me something that you might also recognize in yourself or someone you love? My friend, Hannah, was visiting me, and one morning we were leaving the house together for the first time. I'd done my preparations the night before, which I don’t normally do so thoroughly, so I felt spacious. I was downstairs, watching the cats finish their food so I could put the outside cat back out before we left. Hannah came downstairs, looked at the...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hello dear one, This past weekend, a group of us rested. Really rested. We each set the time aside in our own homes and came together for our live calls, and what struck me is how differently we each did it. Some needed deep stillness. Some needed to do less and find the spaces to slow down between life being life. Some just needed company in it. There's no single right way to rest. There's only what each person needed, and whether they paused to notice what was there for them. I want to...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hello dear one, When was the last time your needs collided with someone you love? Not a fight, exactly. Just two people who care about each other who want two different things at the same time. I had one of those moments on a seaside in Greece. Several years ago for my 50th birthday, my husband and I flew to Greece, then took a boat to a quiet island that looked out over the Aegean. I had chosen the place we were staying on purpose. I wanted to sit on the deck and watch the water and the...
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
Hello dear one, What does resting have to do with sleeping well at night? Or digesting your food well? Or being more productive? Or having the capacity to show up for the others in your life when that’s what’s needed? Turns out it has everything to do with every aspect of our lives and what we think of as quality of life. When was the last time you rested? Not collapsed at the end of a long day, not scrolled until your eyes gave out. Actually rested. For a lot of us, the honest answer is, I'm...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hello dear one, Have you ever held a Chinese finger trap? It's a little woven tube. You slip a finger into each end, and then the moment you try to pull your fingers apart to get free, it tightens. The more you pull, the more stuck you are. The way out is the one move that makes no sense while you are panicking inside it. You have to stop pulling. You have to bring your fingers gently toward each other, in toward the center, the opposite of the exit. And then it loosens, and your fingers...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read